Defending Mr. Bush

Defending President George W. Bush.

In these dark and evil times, a shining beacon of hope comes from the leader of the free world! The one and only man who will fight the forces of darkness and lead us all to the shining light!

"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000

Okay, we're off to a bad start.

Ahem, never mind. It's only first year and he wasn't even President, yet surely he will quickly rise to the occasion and deal with the pressing economic problems at hand. I mean, we're in a recession here and I just know this guy has got a plan to get out-of-work blokes like me, some jobs, right?

"Dick Cheney and I do not want this nation to be in a recession. We want anybody who can find work to be able to find work." --George W. Bush, 60 minutes II, CBS, December 5, 2000

All right, even I can't understand what he was saying here, but come on, mistakes happen. Don't underestimate this guy.

"They misunderestimated me." --George W. Bush, Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

Indeed they have, this President will be a firm and decisive leader. No more sexual monkeying around.

"We're concerned about AIDS inside our White House — make no mistake about it." —George W. Bush, Feb. 7, 2001

Make no mistake about it, this Guy is going to increase performance.

"For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." —George W. Bush, Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001

Er... Well, at least he forgot about that dictatorship thing eh?

"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it." —George W. Bush, July 27, 2001

Oops, oh well. He never really got around to becoming dictator so these frightening quotes can be dismissed out of hand. Plus, he is so firm on the issues, take his opinion on Cloning

"It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 10, 2002

Also, he realizes the great importance of education.

"The public education system in America is one of the most important foundations of our democracy. After all, it is where children from all over America learn to be responsible citizens, and learn to have the skills necessary to take advantage of our fantastic opportunistic society." —George W. Bush, May 1, 2002

And who says Bush wasn't a hippie? First he didn't go to Vietnam and then he says this.

"See, we love — we love freedom. That's what they didn't understand. They hate things; we love things. They act out of hatred; we don't seek revenge, we seek justice out of love." —George W. Bush, Oklahoma City, Aug. 29, 2002

Don't you just love this guy? He's so secure in the knowledge that the American People are right behind him.

"I think the American people — I hope the American — I don't think, let me — I hope the American people trust me." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2002

His modesty, reflective on all other Americans

"Our country puts $1 billion a year up to help feed the hungry. And we're by far the most generous nation in the world when it comes to that, and I'm proud to report that. This isn't a contest of who's the most generous. I'm just telling you as an aside. We're generous. We shouldn't be bragging about it. But we are. We're very generous." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 16, 2003

George W Bush is the perfect man for the job, he will thoroughly investigate a person before he grants them a position in government.

"I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified." —George W. Bush, commenting on Linda Chavez, Jan. 8, 2001

Er.... see! He reads!

"I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003

So what if he doesn't read the stories? It's not like he just stares at the pictures for crying out loud!

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." --George W. Bush, Jan. 3, 2000

So who doesn't like fantastic pictures? Are you telling me that you don't like fantastic pictures? Besides The President is far too busy to bother with the news, he is a man on a mission. A courageous leader of men! A man who understands what his troops go through!

"As you can possibly see, I have an injury myself—not here at the hospital, but in combat with a cedar. I eventually won. The cedar gave me a little scratch."—After visiting with wounded veterans from the Amputee Care Center of Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas, Jan. 1, 2006

Er....... well..... lets see YOU fight a cedar!

"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the — the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 27, 2003

Right on! Wait... what?

"But Iraq has—have got people there that are willing to kill, and they're hard-nosed killers. And we will work with the Iraqis to secure their future." —Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

You're kidding, right? RIGHT?!

"It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way."—Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

Er........

"Iraqis are sick of foreign people coming in their country and trying to destabilize their country." --George W. Bush, interview with Al Arabiya Television, May 5, 2004

Er..........

As you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 28, 2003

Wait, this sounds like the dictatorship thing again.

"Give me a chance to be your president and America will be safer and stronger and better." --President George W. Bush, Marquette, Michigan, July 13, 2004

All right, he had a momentary memory loss and forgot he in fact was still president, could happen to anybody. At least we know he still wants the job.

"I wish I wasn't the war president. Who in the heck wants to be a war president? I don't." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

I'll choose to ignore that.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

I hope that's not what “Homeland Security” is all about.

"The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he were the president of the United States, and the world would be a lot better off." --George W. Bush, second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

These are just slip-ups! mere slip-ups that mean nothing.

"I think it's very important for the American President to mean what he says. That's why I understand that the enemy could misread what I say. That's why I try to be as clearly I can." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 23, 2004

See, he's doing the best he can!

"I have a record in office, as well. And all Americans have seen that record. September the 4th, 2001, I stood in the ruins of the Twin Towers. It's a day I will never forget." --George W. Bush, Marlton, New Jersey, Oct. 18, 2004

September 4th? And while we're on that topic, why haven't we caught Osama?

"Because he's hiding." --George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, Jan. 14, 2005

Well... he's honest!

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." --George W. Bush, Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

A little too honest.

"Those who enter the country illegally violate the law." --George W. Bush, Tucson, Ariz., Nov. 28, 2005

You don't say.

"The only way we can win is to leave before the job is done." --George W. Bush, Greeley, Colo., Nov. 4, 2006

Why are you doing this to me?!

"You helped our nation celebrate its bicentennial in 17 -- 1976." --George W. Bush, to Queen Elizabeth, Washington, D.C., May 7, 2007

At least he didn't wink........ Oh good God! HE DID!

"I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome."—Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005, on the reception of American forces in Iraq

You think?

"Going into Baghdad would have resulted in an unpopular gurriella war" George W. Bush defending his Father's decision, 1997.

(Sighs) That's it, I'm outta here.